Movie Review - Night At The Museum 2

Just thinking about Night At The Museum 2: Battle Of The Smithsonian (ergh, even the title sucks) again is getting me angry. So rather than diving headlong into an irate eruption on it's obvious crapness, I'll kick off by listing the 3 good things about it:

1) Jonah Hill's turn as a Smithsonian security guard
2) Bill Hader's take on General Custer
3) Amy Adams in tight, tight pants

Ok, now that I have gotten that out of the way....

Of all the god-awful Hollywood sequels and remakes that have been spewed forth over the past decade, this has to be up there with the worst. The script is weak and so full of holes that if you tried to drain pasta through it you'd end up with a sink full of soggy spaghetti. The mythology of the first movie is handled with reckless abandon, with paintings and photos coming to life and planes able to fly and jet engines able to start without any form of fuel. A kid is able to guide his Dad throughout the Smithsonian basement remotely from his computer in New York - yeah right! Normally busy New York streets are deserted enough for a resurrected Amelia Earhart to land a plane on with no witnesses. There's even rapping cherubs. I kid you not, no depth is too low for NATM2 to sink to.

Ben Stiller dials his performance in - you can practically see the $$ in his eyes. As much as I respect Hank Azaria for his work on The Simpsons, he flubs his way through his role as the evil Kahmunrah, his accent switching from French to English to Arab to god knows what else depending on what stupid dialogue he'd been forced to vomit out.

NATM2 is the most god-awful Hollywood tripe that you can possibly imagine. Avoid at all costs, unless you want to see Amy Adams in tight, tight pants. Which I kind of want to see again. Maybe.

Rating 1 spud out of 5

Music Review - Deftones "Diamond Eyes"

I'll admit that I'm a big Deftones fan. The first 3 albums rocked my world and propelled the Deftones into my top 5 fave bands. But then the self-titled album came along. It bored me. "Saturday Night Wrist", despite some highlights, didn't do all that much to catch my attention. I lost interest. Thus I went into "Diamond Eyes" with some trepidation.

The trepidation was unjustified. They're back on form.

This album is classic Deftones circa "Around The Fur" and "White Pony". Brutal yet melodic, dark yet beautiful, the album enthrals you from the get go. Abe Cunningham has taken a leaf out of John Stanier's book (Helmet, Tomahawk, The Mark Of Cain) and slams the drums within an inch of their life. Stephen Carpenter's guitar crunches and grooves and produces some of the most stunning hooks of his career. Chino Moreno's vocals have been a big reason for my losing interest in the past couple of albums but he's back to his best here - pure emotion pours out of his throat.

Of course, if you haven't heard, they are without long time bassist Chi Cheng after a major car accident in November 2008 left him in a coma. Sergio Vega (Quicksand) fills in and does an admirable job, but he doesn't quite have the same "Oomph" that Chi does.

Overall, "Diamond Eyes" isn't a classic but it's a real return to form for the Deftones and a must listen for any heavy music fan.

Highlights: "Rocket Skates", "Beauty School", "Sextape"

Rating: 3.5 spuds out of 5

In the beginning.....

... The Wang created another blog. Then rested for many, many days.

I'll be reviewing movies as I see them, books as I read them, music as I hear it and anything else that I experience and feel like sharing my opinion on. If you're looking for professionalism, forget it. I was always more cynical than eloquent and I daresay that trait will expose itself fairly early on in this blog.

I won't just be reviewing new releases either. If I catch Ben Hur on TV on the Easter weekend and it bores this living shit out of me I'll be sure to let you know.

I probably haven't convinced you to start following me yet, so just to give you an idea of the kind of guy I am and what you may be in for if you come back to read more in the future, I thought I'd share my top 5 films of all time. Now, this is my top 5 as of today. This will change. And when it changes, I'll let you know. I just find it so hard to pick 5 favourites out of so many......

So here we go, in no particular order, my top 5 all time favourite films as at the 4th April, 2010....

1) High Fidelity

The fact that I'm listing "my top 5 all time favourite" films in my first blog post is testament to how highly I regard this movie. I always tell girls - if you want a true insight into the minds of men, watch this movie. It's a beautifully written film, with John Cusack at his uber-cool-and-funny-without-trying best, and Jack Black turning out one of his best performances. For what it's worth, I've read the book too and, well, *deep breath*, I rate the movie over the book (one of the few times this will happen!).

Favourite quote: "Rob, I'm telling you this for your own good, that's the worst fuckin' sweater I've ever seen, that's a Cosby sweater"

2) The Godfather

I love mob movies, and this is the greatest mob movie of them all. It's the yardstick against which all other mafia movies are measured (perhaps even which ALL movies are measured). Francis Ford Coppola hit the nail right on the head with this one. He came close to matching it with The Godfather Part II, but I don't think he ever bettered part I, ever, with any of his films.

Favourite scene: the Italian restaurant scene

3) Fight Club 

Political and social statements are rarely this entertaining. Fight Club is darkly comic, highly entertaining and never preachy, yet it gets it's message across pretty damn well. Ed Norton has never topped his performance in this - it's like he's been in cruise control ever since. The ending... well... I can't think of too many others as brilliant and fitting as this one. 

Favourite scene: the final scene. Definitely

4) Donnie Darko

Part sci-fi, part teen comedy, part family drama... it's difficult to pigeon hole Donnie Darko. It makes no sense upon first viewing, and little more upon further viewings, but you still can't help but love it. I have actually figured it all out and when you know, it all fits and makes perfect sense. I only have the Director's Cut on DVD, so I haven't seen the original release in a long time, but I remember thinking that I preferred the Director's Cut when I first saw it. Keep an eye out for a young Seth Rogen being a very unconvincing bad guy.

Favourite quote: a tie between "Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?" and "Oh please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?"

5) Superbad

This movie is far smarter than many people give it credit for. It's the funniest damn movie I've ever seen, yet it's super sweet and I can totally relate to the adventures of Seth and Evan, trying to get drunk and have sex before graduation. I don't care what anyone says - Jonah Hill is one of the funniest guys on the planet, and Michael Cera is the perfect foil for his filth. The support players are just as good. A star was born in Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Bill Hader and Seth Rogen do their jobs well as over-the-top madcap cops. If you haven't seen it, watch it with a few drinks when you're in a reminiscent mood and think back to what you got up to in high school....

Favourite quote: damn, soooo many to choose from... "Becca: I'm so wet. Evan: They told me that would happen in health class"

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